'I was a hostage': Domestic assault calls rise in York Region amid coronavirus crisis

News Apr 14, 2020 by Jeremy Grimaldi Aurora Banner

Before the father of her two children approached her one morning and put a knife to her throat, Lulu Lotus had attempted to leave him four times.

Each time he would call and harangue her and the rest of her family by phone, begging for her to return and promising things would be different.

Each time she would relent and return.

“Things would be good for a bit and then before I knew it, I was in hell again,” she told yorkregion.com

After the knife incident, Lotus came up with a plan. She escaped to a different town at a shelter with surveillance and support to deal with the onslaught of texts and phone calls. Eventually a family member bought her a new phone.

“He had taken my car," she said, "I felt like I was a hostage."

Lotus, who lives in Aurora, imagines there are plenty of women struggling with the same issue amid the current COVID-19 lockdown, where many are no longer working and stuck at home – some with their abuser.

She’s not wrong.

York Regional Police have released figures that show a 23 per cent increase in domestic related calls, which includes everything from verbal family disputes, violence and intimate partner abuse.

Between March 1 and April 6, 2020 police received 987 domestic related calls compared to 802 during the same time in 2019.

Michelle Smith, the executive director of Sandgate Women's Shelter, is not surprised by the data, indicating that any undue stress, let alone the unprecedented situation everyone is going through at the moment, will cause a spike – holidays, economic downturns and massive job loss can all cause spikes in domestic violence.

“We’re definitely seeing (a rise) across our social media and crises lines,” she said. “But my concern is what we’re not seeing. Many women at home aren’t taking the kids to school or at work, being given a chance to make that call … everyone is staying in isolation.”

Looking to the future, Smith said she's dreading a rise in the number of domestic homicides.

“There was one in Durham a month ago and another one in Toronto two weeks ago,” she explained.

Lotus recalls how her abuse would always get worse when her now ex-husband was suffering financial worries or his secret drug habit began to take a turn for the worse.

“He would take it out on me because I was the outlet, I was the punching bag, he would grab me or push me,” she said, before recalling the day he jumped on top of her, pinned her down and screamed in her face or the threats of death he made against her.

Maya Roy, CEO of YWCA Canada, said that on top of victims, shelters are also witnessing a rise in their expenditures in the age of coronavirus, explaining how she was just forced to spend $63,000 on hand sanitizer for the organizations’ 34 shelters and 2,000 subsidized units across the country.

Roy said she’s already heard about a woman in York Region who had a gun pulled on her by her partner of 18 years.

While the woman was able to flee, her problems continue to mount as she has lost her job, is struggling to apply for her emergency response benefit of $2,000 from the government and continues to be harassed with death threats over texts from her abuser's family.

Many victims are not only struggling with financial constraints in these days of little employment, but also with the reduction in service of public transportation and getting their hands on cellphones.

“Just being able to call, that’s been an issue,” she added, explaining it’s not helping that counselling and health services have also been shuttered. “If you are living paycheque to paycheque, how can you get a cab to leave or pay your cell bill?”

In light of these issues, she urged family, friends and neighbours to keep an eye out for warning signs surrounding domestic abuse.

“If you see anything, if you are worried, do a wellness check to see if they are interested in reaching out,” she said. “We have to support one another and build community in times like these.”

Roy added the abuse numbers have been rising all over the country and the world, pointing out that in Italy and Spain women having been signalling they are in trouble by saying a code word to pharmacists.

Quebec is witnessing other isolation-type crimes, including a rise in the sexual exploitation of minors.

York police Sgt. Andy Pattenden said the numbers do not look good.

“The rise in domestic incidents is concerning and we encourage anyone who is in a volatile domestic situation to reach out to our community partners to seek support and guidance and, if you fear for your safety, call 911,” he said.

As for Lotus, although she still has nightmares, often featuring knives, she says she and her boys are in a safe place now.

HOW TO HELP

Donations of money, disinfecting wipes, laundry soap, toilet paper, gift cards and other essential items are welcome.

Visit sandgate.ca to find their contact information or to find out how you can support women and children in shelters, or call Mona at Sandgate at 905-251-4126 to arrange a donation.

You may also drop off donations for Yellow Brick at 52 West Beaver Creek, Unit 4, from 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Buzz the door – there will be no face-to-face contact.

If you know of a person who has been or is being abused, it’s important now to reach out to them by phone or social media, or to the local shelter.

SEEK HELP FOR YOURSELF

If you need help yourself, dial 1-800-661-8294 or 911 if you’re in immediate danger.

You can also try Sandgate's website or Facebook page. The Yellow Brick House crisis line is open for texts or phone calls 24-7 at 1-800-263-3247.

To talk with someone immediately about your safety needs and safety planning, you can also contact confidential and anonymous provincial crisis lines.   

Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 1-866-863-0511

Talk4Healing: 1-855-554-HEAL

Fem’aide: 1-877-336-2433 (French language assistance)

Correction — April 14, 2020: This article has been edited from a previous version that, due to incorrect information provided by police, inaccurately portrayed the number of domestic incidents in York Region.

'I was a hostage': Domestic assault calls rise in York Region amid coronavirus crisis

York Regional Police say domestic assaults are on the rise in region as COVID-19 keeps most residents inside

News Apr 14, 2020 by Jeremy Grimaldi Aurora Banner

Before the father of her two children approached her one morning and put a knife to her throat, Lulu Lotus had attempted to leave him four times.

Each time he would call and harangue her and the rest of her family by phone, begging for her to return and promising things would be different.

Each time she would relent and return.

“Things would be good for a bit and then before I knew it, I was in hell again,” she told yorkregion.com

Related Content

After the knife incident, Lotus came up with a plan. She escaped to a different town at a shelter with surveillance and support to deal with the onslaught of texts and phone calls. Eventually a family member bought her a new phone.

“He had taken my car," she said, "I felt like I was a hostage."

Lotus, who lives in Aurora, imagines there are plenty of women struggling with the same issue amid the current COVID-19 lockdown, where many are no longer working and stuck at home – some with their abuser.

She’s not wrong.

York Regional Police have released figures that show a 23 per cent increase in domestic related calls, which includes everything from verbal family disputes, violence and intimate partner abuse.

Between March 1 and April 6, 2020 police received 987 domestic related calls compared to 802 during the same time in 2019.

Michelle Smith, the executive director of Sandgate Women's Shelter, is not surprised by the data, indicating that any undue stress, let alone the unprecedented situation everyone is going through at the moment, will cause a spike – holidays, economic downturns and massive job loss can all cause spikes in domestic violence.

“We’re definitely seeing (a rise) across our social media and crises lines,” she said. “But my concern is what we’re not seeing. Many women at home aren’t taking the kids to school or at work, being given a chance to make that call … everyone is staying in isolation.”

Looking to the future, Smith said she's dreading a rise in the number of domestic homicides.

“There was one in Durham a month ago and another one in Toronto two weeks ago,” she explained.

Lotus recalls how her abuse would always get worse when her now ex-husband was suffering financial worries or his secret drug habit began to take a turn for the worse.

“He would take it out on me because I was the outlet, I was the punching bag, he would grab me or push me,” she said, before recalling the day he jumped on top of her, pinned her down and screamed in her face or the threats of death he made against her.

Maya Roy, CEO of YWCA Canada, said that on top of victims, shelters are also witnessing a rise in their expenditures in the age of coronavirus, explaining how she was just forced to spend $63,000 on hand sanitizer for the organizations’ 34 shelters and 2,000 subsidized units across the country.

Roy said she’s already heard about a woman in York Region who had a gun pulled on her by her partner of 18 years.

While the woman was able to flee, her problems continue to mount as she has lost her job, is struggling to apply for her emergency response benefit of $2,000 from the government and continues to be harassed with death threats over texts from her abuser's family.

Many victims are not only struggling with financial constraints in these days of little employment, but also with the reduction in service of public transportation and getting their hands on cellphones.

“Just being able to call, that’s been an issue,” she added, explaining it’s not helping that counselling and health services have also been shuttered. “If you are living paycheque to paycheque, how can you get a cab to leave or pay your cell bill?”

In light of these issues, she urged family, friends and neighbours to keep an eye out for warning signs surrounding domestic abuse.

“If you see anything, if you are worried, do a wellness check to see if they are interested in reaching out,” she said. “We have to support one another and build community in times like these.”

Roy added the abuse numbers have been rising all over the country and the world, pointing out that in Italy and Spain women having been signalling they are in trouble by saying a code word to pharmacists.

Quebec is witnessing other isolation-type crimes, including a rise in the sexual exploitation of minors.

York police Sgt. Andy Pattenden said the numbers do not look good.

“The rise in domestic incidents is concerning and we encourage anyone who is in a volatile domestic situation to reach out to our community partners to seek support and guidance and, if you fear for your safety, call 911,” he said.

As for Lotus, although she still has nightmares, often featuring knives, she says she and her boys are in a safe place now.

HOW TO HELP

Donations of money, disinfecting wipes, laundry soap, toilet paper, gift cards and other essential items are welcome.

Visit sandgate.ca to find their contact information or to find out how you can support women and children in shelters, or call Mona at Sandgate at 905-251-4126 to arrange a donation.

You may also drop off donations for Yellow Brick at 52 West Beaver Creek, Unit 4, from 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Buzz the door – there will be no face-to-face contact.

If you know of a person who has been or is being abused, it’s important now to reach out to them by phone or social media, or to the local shelter.

SEEK HELP FOR YOURSELF

If you need help yourself, dial 1-800-661-8294 or 911 if you’re in immediate danger.

You can also try Sandgate's website or Facebook page. The Yellow Brick House crisis line is open for texts or phone calls 24-7 at 1-800-263-3247.

To talk with someone immediately about your safety needs and safety planning, you can also contact confidential and anonymous provincial crisis lines.   

Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 1-866-863-0511

Talk4Healing: 1-855-554-HEAL

Fem’aide: 1-877-336-2433 (French language assistance)

Correction — April 14, 2020: This article has been edited from a previous version that, due to incorrect information provided by police, inaccurately portrayed the number of domestic incidents in York Region.

'I was a hostage': Domestic assault calls rise in York Region amid coronavirus crisis

York Regional Police say domestic assaults are on the rise in region as COVID-19 keeps most residents inside

News Apr 14, 2020 by Jeremy Grimaldi Aurora Banner

Before the father of her two children approached her one morning and put a knife to her throat, Lulu Lotus had attempted to leave him four times.

Each time he would call and harangue her and the rest of her family by phone, begging for her to return and promising things would be different.

Each time she would relent and return.

“Things would be good for a bit and then before I knew it, I was in hell again,” she told yorkregion.com

Related Content

After the knife incident, Lotus came up with a plan. She escaped to a different town at a shelter with surveillance and support to deal with the onslaught of texts and phone calls. Eventually a family member bought her a new phone.

“He had taken my car," she said, "I felt like I was a hostage."

Lotus, who lives in Aurora, imagines there are plenty of women struggling with the same issue amid the current COVID-19 lockdown, where many are no longer working and stuck at home – some with their abuser.

She’s not wrong.

York Regional Police have released figures that show a 23 per cent increase in domestic related calls, which includes everything from verbal family disputes, violence and intimate partner abuse.

Between March 1 and April 6, 2020 police received 987 domestic related calls compared to 802 during the same time in 2019.

Michelle Smith, the executive director of Sandgate Women's Shelter, is not surprised by the data, indicating that any undue stress, let alone the unprecedented situation everyone is going through at the moment, will cause a spike – holidays, economic downturns and massive job loss can all cause spikes in domestic violence.

“We’re definitely seeing (a rise) across our social media and crises lines,” she said. “But my concern is what we’re not seeing. Many women at home aren’t taking the kids to school or at work, being given a chance to make that call … everyone is staying in isolation.”

Looking to the future, Smith said she's dreading a rise in the number of domestic homicides.

“There was one in Durham a month ago and another one in Toronto two weeks ago,” she explained.

Lotus recalls how her abuse would always get worse when her now ex-husband was suffering financial worries or his secret drug habit began to take a turn for the worse.

“He would take it out on me because I was the outlet, I was the punching bag, he would grab me or push me,” she said, before recalling the day he jumped on top of her, pinned her down and screamed in her face or the threats of death he made against her.

Maya Roy, CEO of YWCA Canada, said that on top of victims, shelters are also witnessing a rise in their expenditures in the age of coronavirus, explaining how she was just forced to spend $63,000 on hand sanitizer for the organizations’ 34 shelters and 2,000 subsidized units across the country.

Roy said she’s already heard about a woman in York Region who had a gun pulled on her by her partner of 18 years.

While the woman was able to flee, her problems continue to mount as she has lost her job, is struggling to apply for her emergency response benefit of $2,000 from the government and continues to be harassed with death threats over texts from her abuser's family.

Many victims are not only struggling with financial constraints in these days of little employment, but also with the reduction in service of public transportation and getting their hands on cellphones.

“Just being able to call, that’s been an issue,” she added, explaining it’s not helping that counselling and health services have also been shuttered. “If you are living paycheque to paycheque, how can you get a cab to leave or pay your cell bill?”

In light of these issues, she urged family, friends and neighbours to keep an eye out for warning signs surrounding domestic abuse.

“If you see anything, if you are worried, do a wellness check to see if they are interested in reaching out,” she said. “We have to support one another and build community in times like these.”

Roy added the abuse numbers have been rising all over the country and the world, pointing out that in Italy and Spain women having been signalling they are in trouble by saying a code word to pharmacists.

Quebec is witnessing other isolation-type crimes, including a rise in the sexual exploitation of minors.

York police Sgt. Andy Pattenden said the numbers do not look good.

“The rise in domestic incidents is concerning and we encourage anyone who is in a volatile domestic situation to reach out to our community partners to seek support and guidance and, if you fear for your safety, call 911,” he said.

As for Lotus, although she still has nightmares, often featuring knives, she says she and her boys are in a safe place now.

HOW TO HELP

Donations of money, disinfecting wipes, laundry soap, toilet paper, gift cards and other essential items are welcome.

Visit sandgate.ca to find their contact information or to find out how you can support women and children in shelters, or call Mona at Sandgate at 905-251-4126 to arrange a donation.

You may also drop off donations for Yellow Brick at 52 West Beaver Creek, Unit 4, from 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Buzz the door – there will be no face-to-face contact.

If you know of a person who has been or is being abused, it’s important now to reach out to them by phone or social media, or to the local shelter.

SEEK HELP FOR YOURSELF

If you need help yourself, dial 1-800-661-8294 or 911 if you’re in immediate danger.

You can also try Sandgate's website or Facebook page. The Yellow Brick House crisis line is open for texts or phone calls 24-7 at 1-800-263-3247.

To talk with someone immediately about your safety needs and safety planning, you can also contact confidential and anonymous provincial crisis lines.   

Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 1-866-863-0511

Talk4Healing: 1-855-554-HEAL

Fem’aide: 1-877-336-2433 (French language assistance)

Correction — April 14, 2020: This article has been edited from a previous version that, due to incorrect information provided by police, inaccurately portrayed the number of domestic incidents in York Region.